byfirstlight's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Just Stuff- Stupid Diaryland ate yesterday's entry and I didn't even realize it!! GRRRRRRR. I don't even remember exactly what I wrote, and today has been highly uneventful. So, hmm. Let's see. Ah, yes. The Snugli!! She finally likes it. Sort of. As long as I have her in it facing out, she's happy (look at the picture on my archives page - that's her favorite way to be held). I swear. Isabella is the most INDEPENDENT baby ever. She wants to do everything for herself. It's incredibly cute, but goodness. She's so stubborn! Oh, yes. Bottles. I HATE BOTTLE FEEDING! Hate it. For one thing, she only likes one kind of nipple. The kind that comes on the old fashioned bottles. So that means that all those fancy airless Playtex Nursers I bought were a waste of money. She takes ages and ages to drink out of them because she doesn't like them (we're talking OVER an hour to drink 4oz). And even though they're the kind where you squeeze out all the air, she still gets a ton because the way she sucks on those particular nipples. So that means I need to go and spend more money when money is already tight. I'm going to have to pack away all those nifty bottles and go buy the older styled ones, because she can drink out of those perfectly. I'm not begrudging it. I just wish I had figured this out SOONER, so no money would have been wasted. And really, I wish she was still nursing. Every day it bothers me more and more. I read all these mommy diaries on Diaryland, and so many of them nursed for at least the first year, and others even went beyond that. I wanted to do that! It's just not fair. We were a team. From the instant she first tried to nurse, she was a pro. No problems latching on. No sore nipples. Nothing bad whatsoever. It was great, and I really really enjoyed that special bond. And now it's gone. I hate it. It's been over a month, but it bugs me just as much as it did in the beginning. *sigh* Especially because it's my fault that she isn't nursing. It's my fault that I was too modest to nurse her in public. I ended up pumping her and feeding her by bottle a lot of the time whole we were in Georgia, and by the time we got back home, she no longer wanted the breast. And then the birth control. Stupid birth control. It caused me to start to dry up anyway. And honestly, I think my worries that it would do that caused it to really go full force. Ugh. Next time, though, I will do things differently. I will NOT, under ANY circumstances, offer my next baby a bottle, and I will NOT take birth control right away, even if it's supposed to be "safe" for nursing mothers. I've learned my lesson. Sucks. 4:19 p.m. - 10.11.02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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